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Gates 25-03-2003
"the Rich"
<br>
come to gates wreaking of wealth.
Peter enters choking out the words,
"smells like dirty laundry".
NO, that is impossible, I've always had the finest
or should I say, the cleaniness goods.
Peter replies, slow down boy, I was just needling.
1 Reacties, 44 Bezichtigingen,
26 Stemmen
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Gates 25-03-2003
<br>
Musician:come to gates ringing the bell.
Peter:"don't do that, it's not time to
eat, besides,
we don't want the angels to hear you".
Musician play that bad?
Peter:"that bad, you were killing them down there,
man"!
1 Reacties, 47 Bezichtigingen,
18 Stemmen
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Gates 25-03-2003
<br>
<br>
<br>
<br>
Minister:comes to the gates calling out, "anybody
home"?
Peter:"nobody home, come back after the mail arrives".
Minister:when the mail arrives?
Peter:"yes, when the mail arrives"?
Minister no, let me explain?
Peter:"send your explanation to the Lord, you can
...
1 Reacties, 27 Bezichtigingen,
16 Stemmen
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Gotta take a shit first 19-03-2003
A man is on a flight from Toronto to Los Angeles. As they take
off, the captain comes on the P.A. system and says "This
is your captain John Smith speaking. I'd like to take
the time to thank you for flying Air Canada, flight 666 from
Toronto to Los Angeles. We will be flying at 35, 000 feet
with an air speed of 650 miles per hour. If any of you have
further questions about the flight, just ...
1 Reacties, 233 Bezichtigingen,
64 Stemmen
,6.99 Score
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MEN & WOMEN 17-03-2003
Why do MEN walk more and WOMEN talk more ???????
GUESS???? GUESS WHY ????? It is realy easy !!!!! Because
MEN have THREE legs and WOMEN have FOUR lips.
1 Reacties, 57 Bezichtigingen,
48 Stemmen
,4.62 Score
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Deaf girl 16-03-2003
Man marries deaf girl. He mimes: “let’s make a code: if I
want sex, I will squeeze your breast. In response, u can
pull my penis, once for yes, and 50 times for no.”
0 Reacties, 57 Bezichtigingen,
81 Stemmen
,7.40 Score
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Nuns Vacation 15-03-2003
Three nuns preparing for an outside mission were told by
the preist that they must first purify themselves if they
had touched any private parts of a man by washing their hands
in the holy water. The first shyly walked up and washed her
fingers in the water and said "it was just once"
the preist asked the second to proceed when all of the sudden
the third pushed her out of the way and ran ...
1 Reacties, 61 Bezichtigingen,
41 Stemmen
,7.00 Score
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Treatment of Viagra 14-03-2003
Teacher in class asked the : who knows for what is the
viagra?
One raised his hand and say: "for diarrhea sir!"
Teacher said:" how did you know?"
replay: "last night I heard my mother shout to
dad take a tablet of viagra may be your bloody shit will stop”.
0 Reacties, 38 Bezichtigingen,
39 Stemmen
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First Blow Job 14-03-2003
Fellow walks into a bar, sits down and demands of the bartender,
" Joe, gimme two shots of Jack Daniels."
Joe pours the shots and the customer drinks them.
"Joe, gimme two more shots, and hurry!"
Joe pours two more and says, "Gee, Tom you usually
only drink beer."
Tom replies, "Yeah, that's right but I need two
more shots. FAST!!"
Joe pours the next two and asks, " Well why the ...
1 Reacties, 47 Bezichtigingen,
67 Stemmen
,4.86 Score
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Double Duty 12-03-2003
A woman is going at it with her husband's best friend
one af
ternoon when suddenly the phone rings.she hops out of bed
to
answer it, ''hello... OK, BYE''.
''Who was that?''ask the guy.
''just my husband, '' she replies.
''Oh, shit.i'd better get going.did he
say where he was?is he coming home?''
''Dont worry, ''says the wife.''he
said he's down at the bar playing a few games of pool ...
0 Reacties, 25 Bezichtigingen,
47 Stemmen
,7.18 Score
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Look O'The Irish 12-03-2003
Wath's green, two miles long, and has an asshole
every two feet?
A:THE ST.PATRICK DAY PARADE.
0 Reacties, 6 Bezichtigingen,
20 Stemmen
,0.70 Score
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WHERE DOES VIRGIN WOOL COME FROM? 12-03-2003
UGLY SHEEP.
0 Reacties, 10 Bezichtigingen,
19 Stemmen
,3.26 Score
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teddy bears 12-03-2003
An attractive woman is sitting in a bar when she sees a man
she just has to meet. She signals the waitress and buys him
a beer. The man joins her and they start talking. One thing
leads to another and the next thing she knows she is in his
apartment and things are getting steamy. They head for
the bedroom and she gets the shock of her life. The room is
FILLED with teddy bears. Big ...
1 Reacties, 52 Bezichtigingen,
29 Stemmen
,6.05 Score
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BILL GATES 11-03-2003
What did the say to Bill Gates while he was undressing??
"Now I know why you called it Microsoft!"
0 Reacties, 34 Bezichtigingen,
40 Stemmen
,6.51 Score
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Santa Clause 11-03-2003
A small boy wrote to Santa Clause "send me a brother"
Santa Clause wrote back " send me your mother"
0 Reacties, 16 Bezichtigingen,
21 Stemmen
,5.85 Score
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worms 11-03-2003
Little Tommy was playing with an earthworm in the back of
his grandparents' house. Grandpa comes out and watches
him for a while. Then he says, "Tommy, I bet ya five
dollars you can't get that worm to go back in the hole."
Tommy thinks for a minute, then goes in to the house. He comes
out a minute later with Grandma's hairspray. He holds
the worm by one end, sprays it with hairspray, ...
1 Reacties, 41 Bezichtigingen,
16 Stemmen
,4.30 Score
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understanding women 11-03-2003
A man is shipwrecked on a desert island, and walks the beach
every morining to see is anything useful has washed up.
One morning he finds a lamp. He figures what the hell, and
sure enough, when he rubs it out pops the genie. "I
will grant your wish, oh Master", says the genie.
The man thinks for a bit, then says, "Ya know, I have
been here for a couple of years, and this island is not ...
1 Reacties, 66 Bezichtigingen,
52 Stemmen
,8.41 Score
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Little Johnny and Grandma take a walk 09-03-2003
Little Johnny and his grandmother were walking around
town one day when they came across two dogs fucking on the
sidewalk. Johnny asked his grandmother what they were
doing. She was very embarrassed so she said "The top
hur his paw so the one underneath him is carrying him
to the doctor." Johnny looked at her and said "They're
just like people are'nt they?" "What do
you mean?" grandma ...
0 Reacties, 119 Bezichtigingen,
79 Stemmen
,8.53 Score
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Blind Flight 09-03-2003
A blind man was traveling in his private jet when he realized
that something was wrong. He made his way up to the cockpit
but could get no response from the pilot. He felt around
until he located the radio "Help Me! Help Me! I'm
blind, the pilot is dead, and we are flying upside down"
he screamed into it. The Tower comes back and asks him "How
do you know your upside down?" The blind man ...
0 Reacties, 28 Bezichtigingen,
37 Stemmen
,7.05 Score
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A blind rabbitt and skunk 09-03-2003
A blind rabbit ran across a blind skunk in the woods one day
and asked the skunk what type of animal he was. The skunk
says he has always been blind and don't know and the
rabbit says he can't tell what he is either. They decide
to feel of each other and try to figure out what they are.
The skunk feels the rabbit and says well you have very long
ears and a soft fluffy round tail. The rabbit ...
0 Reacties, 32 Bezichtigingen,
64 Stemmen
,1.96 Score
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Miracles of woman 09-03-2003
4 miracles of a woman 1. getting wet without taking a SHOWER
2.Bleeding without getting HURT 3. Giving milk without
eating GRASS & Making Bonless flesh HARD
0 Reacties, 35 Bezichtigingen,
32 Stemmen
,5.30 Score
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best friend 09-03-2003
wife : if i sleep with your best friend what is the first the
first thing comes to ur mind?
husband; that you are a lesbian.
0 Reacties, 44 Bezichtigingen,
30 Stemmen
,6.47 Score
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two drunks 09-03-2003
two drunks are sitting outside of a bar without the price
of a drink between them. one has an idea..."lets get
a hotdog, i will put it down my pants, and when the bartender
tells us the price, you drop to your knees, pull out the hotdog,
and pretend to give me a blowjob. we'll get thrown out
for queers!" the other drunk agrees and they go to
the first bar. the first drunk orders two ...
1 Reacties, 42 Bezichtigingen,
26 Stemmen
,5.61 Score
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Truck Driver 07-03-2003
A truck driver walked into a house in Vegas , he put
$1000.00 down and told the madam he wanted a meanest, nastyest
fatest , in the place, the madan said mister for a thousand
you can have the best looking woman in the house, he said
mam you dont understand im not horny im homesick!!
1 Reacties, 97 Bezichtigingen,
87 Stemmen
,7.26 Score
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the ed zachery disease 05-03-2003
A lady approached a doctor one day and asked if he could help
her. When asked the problem, she explained that she had
tried everything possible but couldn't get laid.
He then explained to her that he couldn't help her but
there was an oriental doctor he knew, Dr. Shotokan, that
could. She goes to him and tells him the same and asked what
the problem was and why she could't get laid. He ...
0 Reacties, 10 Bezichtigingen,
24 Stemmen
,5.97 Score
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Little Johnny being bad again ..... 04-03-2003
Little Johnny came home from school and told his Dad he had
been kicked out of math class.....
<br>
"What for?"
<br>
"The teacher asked me what was 2x3 and I said 6."
<br>
"You were right!"
<br>
"I know, but then she asked me what was 3x2."
<br>
"What's the fucking difference?!?!???"
<br>
"Well Dad, that's what I asked her just ...
0 Reacties, 42 Bezichtigingen,
65 Stemmen
,7.89 Score
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The Fly 04-03-2003
Deep, ,, Deep in the mountains near a mountain stream a
Bear stands and watches the fish swim buy. The bear notices
a fly buzzing a foot above the water and sees an eager trout
eyes the fly. He thinks to himself, you know if that fly would
just drop about 5 inches that fish would jump out of the water
and eat the fly. When the fish jumps I could snatch him up
and eat him.
An eager coyote ...
0 Reacties, 17 Bezichtigingen,
23 Stemmen
,6.16 Score
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taxidermist 24-02-2003
There was a taxidermist who was the only survivor of a plane
crash in the midddle of the Australian outback. He wandered
for days, with no food or water to sustain him. Finally,
by chance, he came upon a pub in the middle of nowhere. He
runs in and orders a tall glass of milk. The guys all look
at him and one growls, "Milk...what kind of drink is that
for a man. Just what in the hell ...
1 Reacties, 58 Bezichtigingen,
10 Stemmen
,4.78 Score
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the man 20-02-2003
As a man gets off work one day. He gets on the elevator at the
36th floor. On his way down the elevator stops and this beautiful
blonde gets on the elevator with him. As they both go down
to the 1st floor an earthquake shakes the buliding and the
cable on the elevator breaks. Here they are falling to their
deaths. The women turns to the man and asks him to make her
feel like a women for the ...
0 Reacties, 30 Bezichtigingen,
17 Stemmen
,4.68 Score
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Barroom Football 17-02-2003
A big, mean redneck was sitting in the local bar when a small,
effeminate guy walks in and sits down next to him. "Look
here, fella, I don't drink with no faggots! Get the hell
out of here, " he yells. The small guy replies very calmly, "I
have every right to be here. Let's play barroom football,
and the loser has to leave, OK?" "What's barroom football?"
asks the redneck. "It's ...
0 Reacties, 25 Bezichtigingen,
44 Stemmen
,4.20 Score
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