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when michael has a date 10-02-2004
How do you know when michael jackson has a date?
Theres a big wheel parked out front!!
0 Reacties, 7 Bezichtigingen,
4 Stemmen
,2.86 Score
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the penis 10-02-2004
what does a rubics cube and a penis have in common?
The more you play with them the harder they get.
0 Reacties, 7 Bezichtigingen,
4 Stemmen
,3.25 Score
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relative humidity 10-02-2004
What is the definition of relative humidity?
Its the sweat on your balls when your screwing your cousin!
0 Reacties, 171 Bezichtigingen,
2 Stemmen
,1.04 Score
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How much for a ride? 10-02-2004
A successful businessman flew to Vegas for the weekend
to gamble. He lost the shirt off his back, and had nothing
left but a quarter and the second half of his round-trip
ticket-If he could just get to the airport he could get himself
home. So he went out to the front of the casino where there
was a cab waiting. He got in and explained his situation
to the cabby.
<br>
He ...
0 Reacties, 24 Bezichtigingen,
7 Stemmen
,5.59 Score
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How to reject pickup lines 09-02-2004
Ways to Reject Pick-Up Lines
<br>
REJECTION #10
Man: "Haven't we met before?"
Woman: "Yes, I'm the receptionist at the V.D.
Clinic."
<br>
REJECTION #9
Man: "So, wanna go back to my place?"
Woman: "Well, I don't know. Will two people
fit under a rock?"
<br>
REJECTION #8
Man: "I'd really like to get into your pants."
Woman: "No thanks. There's ...
0 Reacties, 44 Bezichtigingen,
134 Stemmen
,7.75 Score
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Nun was 09-02-2004
Young nun comes back from shopping and walking in dark forest.
Q. Mother Superior - she says - I was what should I do?
A. Bite into that lemon my . Older nun answers.
Q. So it will help in case of pregnancy, VD and a sin?
A. we will talk about that later. I just want to take from
your face that silly smile of satisfaction, my dear.
0 Reacties, 89 Bezichtigingen,
95 Stemmen
,5.69 Score
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why men snore 09-02-2004
Why do men snore when they lay on their backs?
Because their balls fall down over their asshole and they
get vapor locked.
1 Reacties, 9 Bezichtigingen,
63 Stemmen
,4.14 Score
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Tupperware 06-02-2004
Q: What do tupperware and a walrus have in common?
A: They both like a tight seal.
1 Reacties, 6 Bezichtigingen,
20 Stemmen
,2.36 Score
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SAME OLD STORY 06-02-2004
A woman walks up to a little old man rocking in a chair on his
porch.
"I couldn't help noticing how happy you look,
what's your secret for a long happy life?' she
says
"I smoke three packs a day, drink a case of whiskey
a week, eat fatty foods and never exercise."
"Wow, thats amazing, how old are you."
"twenty-six".
0 Reacties, 8 Bezichtigingen,
15 Stemmen
,2.67 Score
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drunk and stoned 06-02-2004
Q: What's the difference between a drunk and a stoner?
<br>
A: A drunk will run a stop sign, and a stoner will wait for
it to turn green
0 Reacties, 6 Bezichtigingen,
48 Stemmen
,6.83 Score
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Michael 06-02-2004
Q: How do you know its bedtime at Michael Jacksons house
<br>
A: When the big hand touches the little hand
0 Reacties, 9 Bezichtigingen,
23 Stemmen
,3.01 Score
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three blonds 06-02-2004
Three blonds are going to disney world and driving for six
hours when they see a sign that says disney land left....
so they turned around and went home.
0 Reacties, 4 Bezichtigingen,
29 Stemmen
,2.54 Score
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How do you keep a blonde busy :-) 06-02-2004
Put her a round pool and tell her to swim from corner to corner
0 Reacties, 3 Bezichtigingen,
17 Stemmen
,3.13 Score
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Mother in law 06-02-2004
A man goes on holiday with his wife and mother in law to the
holy land, shortly after they arrive the mother in law dies.
In grief the man and his wife go to the undertaker to organise
the funeral. When they get there the undertaker explains
that they can have the body shipped home for a cost of $5000
or a very tasteful service could be done here for a cost of
$150.
"We'll ship her ...
1 Reacties, 147 Bezichtigingen,
26 Stemmen
,4.00 Score
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the boy who skip the test 06-02-2004
john went for an oral test. the teacher told him to read out
a short story. and told him he can skip the words he dont know.
john say teacher i finish skipping......
0 Reacties, 12 Bezichtigingen,
29 Stemmen
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Beauty And The Duck 02-02-2004
A duck is staying in a hotel and he's having a few drinks
in the bar, when he notices a woman sitting alone and starts
chatting with her.
They hit it off, so the duck suggests going back to his room
for a nightcap.
The woman agrees.
One thing leads to another and they end up on the bed.
This is all very unexpected for the duck, who's totally
unprepared.
He rings room service ...
0 Reacties, 14 Bezichtigingen,
75 Stemmen
,5.46 Score
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nurse blowjobs 02-02-2004
why are nurses so bad at giving blow jobs?
<br>
they always wait for the swelling to go down.
1 Reacties, 22 Bezichtigingen,
53 Stemmen
,6.61 Score
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The Bar Celebration 02-02-2004
There was a guy who walked into his favorite bar, where he
knew the bar tender and vice versa. He said "Hey bartender
line me up 10 shots"; well since the bartender knew
him he lined him up 10 shots of his favorite drink. The guy
drinks one shot right after the other til they were all gone.
The bartender said to the guy "Hey what you celebrating?".
The guy replied "I got my first blow ...
1 Reacties, 39 Bezichtigingen,
9 Stemmen
,4.28 Score
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a pregnant blonde brunette and redhead 31-01-2004
three woman are sitting in the doctors office their all
pregnant one ask the brunette what she was having she said
a girl because she likes it on bottom she asks the redhead
what shes having she said a boy because she likes it on top
all of sudden the blonde starts crying the other woman ask
whats wrong the replies i'm gonna have puppies
0 Reacties, 34 Bezichtigingen,
29 Stemmen
,6.85 Score
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curb service 28-01-2004
There were two vice cops that heard about a new whorehouse
that had opened up. So they decided to check it out. It was
in an old three story building. One cop decided to stay with
the radio in case there was a problem. The other one went
in to check the building. They agreed that as the cop checked
each floor he would shine his flashlight out the window
to show that he was okay and the ...
1 Reacties, 26 Bezichtigingen,
3 Stemmen
,2.94 Score
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busy Balls 28-01-2004
A man takes his wife to the stock show. They start heading
down the alley that had the bulls. They come up to the first
bull and his sign stated: "This bull mated 50 times
last year." The wife turns to her husband and says,
"He mated 50 times in a year, you could learn from him."
They proceed to the next bull and his sign stated: "This
bull mated 65 times last year." The wife turns to ...
0 Reacties, 12 Bezichtigingen,
8 Stemmen
,5.33 Score
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TOP TWENTY REASONS WHY CHOCOLATE IS BETTER THAN SEX 28-01-2004
1. You can GET chocolate.
2. "If you love me you'll swallow that"
has real meaning with chocolate.
<br>
3. Chocolate satisfies even when it has gone soft.
<br>
4. You can safely have chocolate while you are driving.
<br>
5. You can make chocolate last as long as you want it to.
<br>
6. You can have chocolate even in front of your mother. ...
0 Reacties, 15 Bezichtigingen,
12 Stemmen
,5.27 Score
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Is he dead? 28-01-2004
A 911 operator received a call from a very distraught man.
<br>
"Hello? Oh my God! We are out in the woods hunting and
Bob just collapsed. I... I think he's dead!"
the man exclaimed.
<br>
"Now sir, " the operator said. "Take
a few deep breaths and try to calm down. Now the first thing
we have to do is make sure Bob is really dead. Can you do that?"
<br>
"Yes, ...
1 Reacties, 36 Bezichtigingen,
2 Stemmen
,3.12 Score
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The Shot slammer 26-01-2004
A guy was drinking at the bar and another guy comes up and
orders a shot and slams it down; then he orders another and
does the same thing; then another; and then another.......
Finally after 10 shots the slammer stops and pauses. The
first guy asks what caused the need to drink so much. The
slammer replied " got my first BJ to completion a little
while ago". The first guy said " Now that's ...
1 Reacties, 44 Bezichtigingen,
4 Stemmen
,4.41 Score
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Do you know what your gal is doing???? 25-01-2004
Do you know what a womans ass hole is doing when her pussy
is having a orgasm? He is at home watching the .
0 Reacties, 10 Bezichtigingen,
7 Stemmen
,4.57 Score
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Two Troublemakers 25-01-2004
A couple had two little mischievous boys, ages 8 and 10.
<br>
They were always getting into trouble, and their parents
knew that if any mischief occurred in their town, their
sons would get the blame.
<br>
<br>
The boys' mother heard that a clergyman in town had
been
successful in disciplining , so she asked if he
would speak with her boys. The ...
0 Reacties, 12 Bezichtigingen,
6 Stemmen
,4.79 Score
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polish 25-01-2004
there are 3 guys a american a germany and a polish. they find
a room full of tampons and bet each other who can stay in the
room the longest. the american is up first after a week he
comes out and says i cant stand the stench then it's
the germany's turn he last about a week and a half comes
out ha i got you beat american then the polish goes in after
2 week the germany and american tell ...
0 Reacties, 11 Bezichtigingen,
2 Stemmen
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Deaf Sex 25-01-2004
Two deaf people got married. During the first week of marriage,
they found that they were unable to communicate in the bedroom
with the lights out, since they can't see each other
signing, or lips to lip-read.
<br>
After several nights of fumbling around and many misunderstandings,
the wife figures out a solution. "Honey, why don't
we agree on some simple signals? For instance, ...
0 Reacties, 12 Bezichtigingen,
16 Stemmen
,7.10 Score
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The right age for swearing. 25-01-2004
A 5-year old and a 4-year old are upstairs in their bedroom.
"You know what?" says the 5-year old, "I
think it's about time we start swearing. I think we
are old enough."
<br>
The 4-year old nods his head in approval.
<br>
The 5-year old continues. "When we go downstairs
for breakfast, I'm gonna say "hell, "
and you say "ass." OK?"
<br>
The 4-year old ...
0 Reacties, 17 Bezichtigingen,
16 Stemmen
,6.95 Score
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Wendy 24-01-2004
This little guy had his girlfriends name tattooed on his
penis. When his penis got soft only the W and Y of WENDY were
visible.
One day while on vacation in Jamaica he was standing in front
of the urinal. A good size Jamaican was standing next to
him.The little guy looked over and saw a W and a Y on the Jamaicans
penis. He asked him: "is your girlsfriends name Wendy?"
No, why do you ask? ...
0 Reacties, 14 Bezichtigingen,
3 Stemmen
,3.92 Score
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