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Two Friends 23-06-2011
Two friends, a blonde and a brunette, are walking down the
street and pass a flower shop where the brunette happens
to see her boyfriend buying flowers.
She sighs and says, "Oh, crap, my boyfriend is buying
me flowers again...for no reason."
The blonde looks quizzically at her and says, "What’s
the big deal, don’t you like getting flowers?"
The brunette says, "Oh ...
2 Reacties, 316 Bezichtigingen,
10 Stemmen
,4.78 Score
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"Joys of Parenting " 22-06-2011
A Woman's Experience With
For those who already have past this age, this
is hilarious. For those who have this age, this
is not funny. For those who have nearing this age,
this is a warning. For those who have not yet had ,
this is birth control.
The following came from an anonymous mother.
Things I've learned from my (honest &
no kidding):
1. A king size ...
2 Reacties, 275 Bezichtigingen,
12 Stemmen
,5.63 Score
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Women 22-06-2011
Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought
half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. --Charlotte Whitton
Guys are like dogs. They keep coming back. Ladies are like
cats. Yell at a cat one time...they're gone. --Lenny Bruce
I love women. They're the best thing ever created.
If they want to be like men and come down to our level, that's
fine. --Mel ...
1 Reacties, 154 Bezichtigingen,
1 Stemmen
,3.70 Score
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Vacation 22-06-2011
A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort. The husband
liked to fish at the crack of dawn; his wife preferred to
read. One morning the husband returned after several hours
of fishing and decided to take a nap.
The wife, to escape her snoring husband, decided to take
the boat out. Since she was not familiar with the lake, she
rowed out to the middle, anchored the boat, and started ...
1 Reacties, 279 Bezichtigingen,
6 Stemmen
,5.36 Score
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Starting a fight 05-06-2011
A wife and her husband were watching "Who wants to
be a millionaire"while they were in bed.Husband
turns to the wife and said Do you want to have sex?"NO"
she answered.He then turns and ask, Is that your final
answer? THis time without even looking at him simply reply
"YES" So then husband turns and said ok I like
to phone a friend" THen the fight started.
0 Reacties, 418 Bezichtigingen,
17 Stemmen
,2.42 Score
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booted out 03-06-2011
A husband and his wife had a very bad argument.He left and
went to the bar. when he home three sheets to the wind. He
saw that all his clothes and tools were lying in the front
yard. When seeing this through blurry eyes he stormed in
the house and confronted wife."Bitch I know your
leaving but you sure in hell are not taking my stuff with
you"
2 Reacties, 371 Bezichtigingen,
12 Stemmen
,3.68 Score
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Show Some Manners! 17-04-2011
True Story!
I used to have a girlfriend who would always want to reach
for my dinner plate with her fork, or grab my drink, and just
help herself......without even asking! If she would have
at least asked first, I would have been gracious enough
to concede.
The next time I was ready for her.
We were double dating with a friend of ...
0 Reacties, 56 Bezichtigingen,
3 Stemmen
,1.96 Score
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Have you ever farted during sex? 06-04-2011
My first one night stand EVER I accidently let one slip while
she was blowing me. We laughed it off and I felt quite embarassed
until 2 minutes later she let one go as I brought her legs
over her shoulders. Girls do fart!
1 Reacties, 24 Bezichtigingen,
3 Stemmen
,3.43 Score
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SEEKING FOR THE RIGHT PERSON TO RELOCATE AND START A NEW LIFE WITH 05-04-2011
am looking to meet someone who is honest, sweet, caring, attractive, someone
who is getting tired of the bar scene, someone who is looking
for something that can turn into a long term relationship
and possibly marriage.but 4months ago i met a guy on the
internet promising me that he loves me and his from Africa
and told me to come and visit him and i pay him a visit he take
me to a hotel and ...
0 Reacties, 32 Bezichtigingen,
3 Stemmen
,2.45 Score
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Infidelity Discovered 14-03-2011
A man was having an affair with another woman and his wife
found out about it, so she told him "If you don't
end it now I'm gonna go downtown to the post office where
you work and tell everyone I see that you're a no good
cheating filthy bum."
The husband replied "You're gonna go downtown
to the post office where I work and tell everyone you see
that I'm a no good cheating filthy bum?" ...
3 Reacties, 443 Bezichtigingen,
19 Stemmen
,2.46 Score
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The Garden of Eden 14-03-2011
One day in the Garden of Eden, Eve calls out to God, "Lord,
I have a problem!"
"What's the problem, Eve?"
"Lord, I know you've created me and have provided
this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals,
and that hilarious comedy snake, but I'm just not happy."
"Why is that, Eve?" came the reply from above.
"Lord, I am lonely. And I'm sick to death of ...
2 Reacties, 274 Bezichtigingen,
12 Stemmen
,3.33 Score
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Magic Frog 14-03-2011
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into
the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found
a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release
me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes."
The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank
you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to
your wishes-that whatever you wish for, your husband will ...
4 Reacties, 240 Bezichtigingen,
9 Stemmen
,5.56 Score
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My Wife and I Were Happy For Twenty Years....... 07-03-2011
My wife and I were happy for twenty years...then we met.
. I just got back from a pleasure trip - I drove my wife to the
airport
. After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know,
I was a fool when I married you." She replied, "Yes
dear, but I was in love and didn't notice
. One woman says to another, "Isn't your wedding
ring on the wrong finger?" The other woman ...
1 Reacties, 286 Bezichtigingen,
4 Stemmen
,2.47 Score
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the King 07-03-2011
The king was waving to his loyal subjects from the steps
of the palace when he spotted a beggar in the crowd who looked,
beneath the dirt and rags, amazingly like his royal self.
He had a guard bring the beggar to him and the crowd was likewise
struck by the remarkable resemblance. The king was amused,
for he knew that the king before him had a well-deserved
reputation as a ladies' man, as did he ...
1 Reacties, 172 Bezichtigingen,
1 Stemmen
,2.40 Score
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Red Flags and warning signs.... 07-03-2011
Red flags and warning sign. Is this you because I look for
these. If your new in town and ask me where the Methadone Clinic
is.........Warning
If the police already know your description....... Warning
If you know the county jail system better than the sheriff.....warning
To date somebody. If you have to get cleared by CPS or a Judge.........Warning
I know we ...
1 Reacties, 48 Bezichtigingen,
1 Stemmen
,5.00 Score
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Free Tattoo 07-03-2011
A man walks into a tattoo parlor and says he would like a $100
dollar bill on his dick. Well the tattoo artist laughs and
says "I'll do it for free if you can give me one
good reason for it."
The guy thinks for a second and says. "Well one, I like
to keep my money in my pants, two I like to watch my money grow,
and three I want to see how fast my wife can blow a $100.
1 Reacties, 202 Bezichtigingen,
8 Stemmen
,4.17 Score
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Just Try to be Strong 07-03-2011
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years.
He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds
a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while
tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her
neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's
in there, the husband tells his wife:
"Listen, this guy's an ...
3 Reacties, 225 Bezichtigingen,
12 Stemmen
,5.63 Score
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Off to Hawaii 07-03-2011
There was a couple who were big over-spenders. They always
dreamed to spend holidays in Hawaii, but were never able
to save any money to do so. One day they came up with an idea--each
time they had sex, they would put $20.00 bill into a piggy
bank.
They bought the piggy, and followed that procedure for
about a year. After that time, they decided that there was
enough money for their ...
1 Reacties, 144 Bezichtigingen,
0 Stemmen
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'reyan George" captured! 25-02-2011
recently i had the rare learning opportunity to deal with
a professional con artist on HotSwinger.nl Hot Swinger - Hot Swingers Dating.com.
I received a email from a lady naming herself reyan George
who only had one photo on her account. she quickly started
with a story about how she was looking for love and cherished
love etc. right away i knew something was up because it seemed
like it was a letter that was sent to ...
0 Reacties, 150 Bezichtigingen,
3 Stemmen
,1.47 Score
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Mrs. Boudreaux 25-02-2011
One night, a torrential rain soaked Southern Louisiana;
the next morning the resulting floodwaters came up about
6 feet into most of the homes there.
Mrs. Boudreaux was sitting on her roof with her neighbor,
Mrs.Thibodeaux, waiting for help to come. Mrs. Thibodeaux
noticed a baseball cap, floating near the house.
Then she saw it float far out into the front yard, then float
back ...
3 Reacties, 181 Bezichtigingen,
4 Stemmen
,2.47 Score
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Abstinance 18-02-2011
Three couples went in to see the minister to see how to become
members of his church. The minister said that they would
have to go without sex for two weeks and then come back and
tell him how it went. The first couple was retired, the second couple was middle
aged and the final couple was newlywed.
Two weeks went by, and the couples returned to the minister.
The retired couple said it ...
3 Reacties, 172 Bezichtigingen,
7 Stemmen
,2.79 Score
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Sexual Desire Enhancement 18-02-2011
Doc, you've gotta help me... my wife just isn't
interested in sex anymore. Haven't you got a pill or something I can give her?"
"Look, I can't prescribe..." "Doc, we've been friends for years. Have you
ever seen me this upset? I am desperate! I can't think; I can't concentrate;
my life is going utterly to Hell! You've got to help me." The doctor opens his desk drawer and removes a small bottle
of ...
3 Reacties, 180 Bezichtigingen,
5 Stemmen
,2.82 Score
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His and Her Diary 17-02-2011
Her Diary:
Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made
plans to meet at a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shopping with my friends
all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but
he made no comment on it. Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested
that we go somewhere quiet so we could talk. He agreed, but he didn't say much. I asked
him ...
3 Reacties, 179 Bezichtigingen,
7 Stemmen
,3.55 Score
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reincarnation 16-02-2011
Jason came home from the pub late one Friday evening stinking
drunk (as he often did) and crept into bed beside his wife
who was already asleep.
He gave his wife a peck on the cheek and fell asleep. When he awoke he found a strange man standing at the end of
his bed wearing a long flowing white robe. “Who the hell are you?” Demanded Jason, “and what
are you doing in my bedroom?”. ...
1 Reacties, 151 Bezichtigingen,
5 Stemmen
,3.14 Score
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the Portrait 14-02-2011
Mrs. Johnson decided to have her own portrait painted by
a very famous artist. She told the artist, "Paint
me with 3-carat diamond earrings, a large diamond necklace,
glimmering emerald bracelets, and a beautiful red ruby
pendant." "But ma'am, you are not wearing any of those things."
"I know, " said Mrs. Johnson. "My health
is not good, and my husband is having an affair with his secretary.
When ...
1 Reacties, 122 Bezichtigingen,
5 Stemmen
,3.14 Score
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the Farmer and His Wife 06-02-2011
A farmer is lying in bed with his wife when he turns to her
grabs her tits and says "Honey if you could get milk
out of these we could sell the cow". Then he grabs her
pussy and says "Honey if you could get eggs out of here
we could sell the chickens". She turns to him smiles, grabs
his dick and says "Honey if you could get this up I could
get rid of your brother
1 Reacties, 220 Bezichtigingen,
2 Stemmen
,2.42 Score
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the Bus Ride 27-01-2011
An old maid wanted to travel by bus to the pet cemetery with
the remains of her cat. As she boarded the bus, she whispered
to the driver, I have a dead pussy.
The driver pointed to the woman in the seat behind him and
said, "Sit with my wife. You two have a lot in common.
1 Reacties, 140 Bezichtigingen,
5 Stemmen
,2.49 Score
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the in-laws 25-01-2011
A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not
saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of
them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs, the
husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep, " the wife replied, "in-laws."
2 Reacties, 172 Bezichtigingen,
2 Stemmen
,3.81 Score
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expectations 24-01-2011
I've been on this site now on and off for several years.
I've had a lot of fun and I've enjoy meeting some
really wonderful people. I also been witness to some of
the absolutely most unrealistic expectations and narcissus
behavior imaginable. This always makes me smile.
The idea that someone using this site is someway more moral
than someone else is the height of stupidity, not ...
1 Reacties, 58 Bezichtigingen,
3 Stemmen
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dont do it ! 23-01-2011
A blonde who suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her goes
out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly,
opens the door, and, sure enough, finds him naked in the
arms of a redhead. Well, now she’s angry. She opens her
purse and takes out the gun. But as she does so, she is overcome
with grief and points the gun at her own head.
The boyfriend yells, "No, honey, don’t do ...
1 Reacties, 175 Bezichtigingen,
2 Stemmen
,2.42 Score
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