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When Alice Went Deer Hunting 01-10-2014
It was Saturday morning as Jake, an avid hunter, woke up
ready to go bag the first deer of the season. He walks down
to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise
he finds his wife, Alice, sitting there, fully dressed
in camouflage.
Jake asks her: "What are you up to?"
Alice smiles: "I'm going hunting with you!"
Jake, though he had many reservations about ...
2 Reacties, 200 Bezichtigingen,
13 Stemmen
,4.82 Score
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Hard Liquor... 20-09-2014
Two female co-workers are chatting it up, and they are discussing
the boyfriends they’ve had in the last year. One girl
says "The last 3 boyfriends I’ve had, I’ve named
after soda pops. The first one i called 7up, because he had
7 inches and he knew how to keep it up. The second one i called
mountain dew, because when it came to mounting he knew what
to do. The third i called Jack Daniels." ...
8 Reacties, 279 Bezichtigingen,
25 Stemmen
,6.67 Score
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Lunch would be ready...... 15-09-2014
A little girl runs out to the backyard where her father is
working, and asks him, "Daddy, what's sex?"
Her father sits her down, and tells her all about the birds
and the bees. He tells her about conception, sexual intercourse,
sperms and eggs. He goes on to tell her about puberty, menstruation,
erections, wet-dreams...and he thinks, what the hell,
and goes on to tell her the works. He covers a ...
2 Reacties, 247 Bezichtigingen,
21 Stemmen
,6.84 Score
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Three kinds of each... 06-09-2014
A family is at the dinner table. The asks the father,
"Dad, how many kinds of boobs are there?" The
father, surprised, answers, "Well, , a woman
goes through three phases. In her 20s, her breasts are like
melons, round and firm. In her 30s and 40s, they are like
pears, still nice, hanging a bit. After 50, they are like
onions." "Onions?" the asks. "Yes.
You see them and they make you cry." This ...
3 Reacties, 157 Bezichtigingen,
20 Stemmen
,4.91 Score
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Lesbian joke #69 04-09-2014
What do you call a can of tuna on a lesbian's coffee table?
Potpourri
2 Reacties, 88 Bezichtigingen,
19 Stemmen
,3.26 Score
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bar joke 19-07-2014
A guy walks into a bar and says to the barman, "Give
me six double vodkas."
The barman says, "Wow, you must have had one hell of
a day."
"Yeah, I just found out my oldest is gay."
The next day, the same guy comes into the bar and asks for
six double vodkas. When the bartender asks what's wrong, the man says,
"I just found out that my youngest is gay, too!"
On ...
7 Reacties, 342 Bezichtigingen,
24 Stemmen
,6.65 Score
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Joke... 27-06-2014
How do you know you just had a good blow job?
- When she gives you a blow job she sucks the sheets up your
ass.
Now how do you know the woman that just gave you that blow
job is a good girl?
- She pulls the sheets back out for you.
2 Reacties, 88 Bezichtigingen,
25 Stemmen
,3.91 Score
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SIR 30-04-2014
A
1 Reacties, 59 Bezichtigingen,
6 Stemmen
,1.66 Score
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Fun Facts about the Great Vagina 28-04-2014
Fun Facts about the Great Vagina
7 Reacties, 262 Bezichtigingen,
26 Stemmen
,7.02 Score
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Interesting facts about the Penis 28-04-2014
Interesting facts about the Penis
6 Reacties, 177 Bezichtigingen,
24 Stemmen
,7.33 Score
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Getting rid of Ex 04-04-2014
An explorer goes into an undiscovered tomb for the first
time, and in the center of the tomb there’s a lamp. He picks
it up, and as he starts to rub the dirt off of it, a genie comes
out of the lamp and says, “I want to know the person you
hate the most.” The explorer says, “That’s gotta
be my ex-wife. Why?” “I am a cursed genie. I will grant
you three wishes, but whatever you wish ...
3 Reacties, 284 Bezichtigingen,
17 Stemmen
,5.39 Score
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how are people born? 04-04-2014
A asked his father, "How were people born?"
So his father said, "Adam and Eve made babies, then
their babies became adults and made babies, and so on."
The then went to his mother, asked her the same question
and she told him, "We were monkeys then we evolved
to become like we are now." The ran back to his
father and said, "You lied to me!" His father
replied, "No, your mom was talking about ...
3 Reacties, 171 Bezichtigingen,
11 Stemmen
,4.85 Score
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what women would do if they had a penis for a day 04-03-2014
10. Get ahead faster in corporate America.
9. Get a blow job.
8. Find out what is so fascinating about beating the meat.
7. Pee standing up while talking to other men at a urinal.
6. Determine WHY you can't hit the bowl consistently.
5. Find out what it's like to be on the other end of a surging
orgasm.
4. Touch yourself in public ...
4 Reacties, 87 Bezichtigingen,
11 Stemmen
,5.04 Score
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WHAT MEN WOULD DO IF THEY HAD A VAGINA FOR A DAY 04-03-2014
10. Immediately go shopping for zucchini and cucumbers.
9. Squat over a hand-held mirror for an hour and a half.
8. See if they could finally do the splits.
7. See if it's truly possible to launch a ping pong ball
20 feet.
6. Cross their legs without rearranging their crotch.
5. Get picked up in a bar in less than 10 minutes ... BEFORE
closing ...
2 Reacties, 63 Bezichtigingen,
7 Stemmen
,4.82 Score
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25 Secrets Girls Have To Know About Guys 04-03-2014
. Guys don't actually look after good-looking girls.
They prefer neat and presentable girls.
2. Guys hate flirts.
3. A guy can like you for a minute, and then forget you afterwards.
4. When a guy says he doesn't understand you, it simply
means you're not thinking the way he is.
5. "Are you doing something?" or "Have
you eaten already?" are the first usual ...
1 Reacties, 68 Bezichtigingen,
4 Stemmen
,2.86 Score
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long distance 23-02-2014
How To Have A Long Distance Relationship VideoJug is here to help if geography is getting in the way
of you and your loved one. Follow our guide on how to have
a long distance relationship, and keep your relationship
alive despite where you are in the world.
Step 1: Talk it through
You need to discuss your expectations of the relationship
once you are apart, and set ...
0 Reacties, 22 Bezichtigingen,
1 Stemmen
,2.40 Score
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If You Use Handcuffs, Always Keep a Spare Key Handy 01-02-2014
I've even got a better idea, make sure you have one key
on a string, around your wrist before you play, and have
a spare on your key ring.
The reason? My two best friends, Ted and Bobbi and I play around quite
a bit. Sometimes I go to their house for MFM threesome, sometimes
they come over to my house to have a mfmf party with Debbie
and me.
And sometimes, Ted and Bobbi just get ...
3 Reacties, 173 Bezichtigingen,
8 Stemmen
,4.64 Score
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Foodie 27-01-2014
Urban Dictionary defines foodie as: a douchebag who likes
food; though the terms "gastronome" and "epicure"
define the same thing.
I don't remember being an asshole due to my foodism,
I have however perceived others as such when my desire for
certain foods or eateries were denied.
...which I guess does indeed make me a douchebag.
But who could resist the succulent steak ...
1 Reacties, 41 Bezichtigingen,
8 Stemmen
,2.78 Score
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What Annie didn't tell you.............. 23-01-2014
....was that before she rolled the damn can of Crème of
Mushroom soup perfectly under my right foot was:
1. the fact that we have wood floors and they had just been
polished.
2. I was wearing socks, not shoes at the time of impact.
3. She had just opened the cupboard above me slamming me
in the head with the bottom corner of the oak cabinet
4. That ...
3 Reacties, 101 Bezichtigingen,
10 Stemmen
,3.19 Score
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Too Many Cooks in the Kitchen Ruin the Meal (er, uh, ruin one's head) 23-01-2014
My husband Danny is an excellent chef. If it can be grilled,
he can grille it like no one's ever grilled meat before.
If it can be broiled, he can broil it to perfection. He can
bake, fry, you name it.
However, sometimes we'll have guests coming over
for a big dinner and he needs help in the kitchen....that's
where I come in...or at least I used to.
He gave me a list of ...
4 Reacties, 156 Bezichtigingen,
7 Stemmen
,4.06 Score
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What to do 01-01-2014
What to do
0 Reacties, 23 Bezichtigingen,
3 Stemmen
,0.49 Score
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What to do 01-01-2014
What to do
0 Reacties, 12 Bezichtigingen,
2 Stemmen
,2.42 Score
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SPECIAL YESTERDAY BUT UNWANTED TODAY 30-11-2013
DO U KNOW WHAT HURTS THE MOST.........?
ITS WHEN SOMEONE MADE U FEEL VERY VERY SPECIAL YESTERDAY....................................................................................................................................................BUT....................................................................................MADE
U FEEL THAT U R THE MOST UNWANTED PERSON TODAY.....!! ...
3 Reacties, 58 Bezichtigingen,
5 Stemmen
,3.47 Score
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Glitter and Sparkles 01-10-2013
I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later
in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the
doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled
for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone
off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45am.
The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't
have any ...
3 Reacties, 278 Bezichtigingen,
15 Stemmen
,5.73 Score
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Glitter and Sparkles 01-10-2013
I was due for an appointment with the gynecologist later
in the week. Early one morning, I received a call from the
doctor's office to tell me that I had been rescheduled
for that morning at 9:30 am. I had only just packed everyone
off to work and school, and it was already around 8:45am.
The trip to his office took about 35 minutes, so I didn't
have any ...
3 Reacties, 100 Bezichtigingen,
4 Stemmen
,4.80 Score
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Flakes. 18-09-2013
Tell your funniest flake story!
1 Reacties, 55 Bezichtigingen,
6 Stemmen
,1.94 Score
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On being discreet... 09-09-2013
I cannot speak for everyone, but in the case of my wife and
I discretion is an absolute non-negotiable must. Her work
is sensitive to anything that may be conveyed as "alternative"
and my work is very publicly oriented where I talk to hundreds
of different people a week. On top of that we're also
involved in the community and have a lot of friends who might
not be ready to understand. So we ...
2 Reacties, 162 Bezichtigingen,
9 Stemmen
,3.21 Score
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Greener Grass 07-09-2013
Being that my husband was born and raised his whole life
here in this small County He is pretty well known and knows
most other locals that have been born and raised here. Its safe to say that when we meet new people If its through
a mutual friend , they have already been pre warned or pre
schooled that we are freaks. They don't know what to
expect and though they all at one time or another ...
2 Reacties, 284 Bezichtigingen,
15 Stemmen
,3.28 Score
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Ever Fart by accident while getting blowjob? 11-08-2013
haha
2 Reacties, 64 Bezichtigingen,
6 Stemmen
,1.37 Score
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Say it isn't so! 26-07-2013
A hysterical woman came into
the ER. She'd just had a fight with her boyfriend while
sitting in his parked car. She said she had gotten so mad
at him that she pulled the key out of the ignition and put
it in her vagina so he couldn't drive home! Now she couldn't
locate the key to get it out. I couldn't find it either,
so we concluded that it must have fallen out ...
4 Reacties, 364 Bezichtigingen,
13 Stemmen
,2.81 Score
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